The Puking Peasant Inn 2/28/2020

Hello friends! You Little Charmer assisted me in creating a character. She gave me full use of Mel. Thank you! 

Yeah, I’m good. My mind is too fragile to engage in this.

Now, the story.

What felt like hours turned into….well, hours.

Galvin the Bard waited for his fellow entertainers and they did not arrive. 

The patrons of the Puking Peasant awaited impatiently. 

The Puking Peasant Inn

Mel, a regular to the Puke, quaffed yet another pint of Screaming Peaches. There were few men who could drink like her.

Mel. A Mystery

“Galvin,

 sing us a tune, 

or don’t, 

and be a buffoon!”

Galvin ignored her. It was a well known,local, boisterous, band of bards that would be playing. He did not wish to interfere with the booking.

Mel threw a dinner roll, pegging a patron on the chin. It bounced off the cuff of his trousers and onto the floor, completely missing Galvin.

The locals, liquored, laughed lavish lewdness, Distressing Galvin. There was money to be had and time was wasting.

“Ladys and gentlemen!” Galvin cried, 

“Mel maintains mundane marksmanship!”

Everyone laughed. Even Mel. She wouldn’t miss next time. 

The Bard continued.

“Here we are, near La Longi beaches,

Let’s give a shout out to Screaming Peaches!”

Screaming Peaches. Not recommended and highly discouraged.

Mel‘s aim was true and caught Galvim straight in the chops. Fanfare filled the room.

Galvin smiled. It was going to be a good night.

“I sang this before, I sing it again, For fighting with Mel will make me lose skin.”

He pulled out the strange instrument given to him by the Heron tribe and began to sing.

“Today, I will sing about the Ship of Admiral Gryll, “

Admiral Gryll

The Grasshopper

The butterfly they flutter by

The honey bee they take a knee

The katydid too prissy

The praying mantis a wanna be

Sounds good bub. Come a little closer.

We are the scourge of the earth

Wipe off the smile we take your mirth

The Bard Speaks of Pirates

We are proud little creatures 

Thick in the thigh admire features

We’ll eat you broke with mandible

Leave you empty from head to toe

Grasshopper Grasshopper 

we jump far

Grasshopper Grasshopper 

leave your land a scar

We take what you got then we lay our eggs

We deal in arms and 2 hind legs.

Hi cuss Locust we take a share

Only John the Baptist give us a scare

Your help we don’t need 

We eat your food and breed

No need to direct traffic 

to to help us across

In our little hood the

Cart stops for us.

The patrons were not impressed.

“That was awful”, cried a patron.

Fortunately, the local band arrived. 

Author: The Storyteller

Don't count the lions. It will make you afraid and slow you down.

10 thoughts on “The Puking Peasant Inn 2/28/2020”

  1. I neeeed to be at that pub!!

    And thanks for the reminder of Calvin & Hobbs’ poem on what tigers are made of: “Dragonflies and katydids but mostly chewed up little kids!”

  2. Mel’s certainly getting herself established down the Pheasant eh?? 😁

    Nice work my friend, I loved it.
    Lots of lovely wee touches with her rhymes and your alliterative language.

    I have to say the caption to the snakes in a basket photo is an absolute triumph!! 🖤🖤🖤

    Unlike Mel, you certainly didn’t miss with this one!!

    Looking forward to more as always!

    🖤🖤🖤

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