Hello, Benjamin from Brother’s Campfire here!
I have only met one angry Canadian in my entire life and that was an anomaly. Canada has the chillest folks on the face of the planet. Seriously.
It is a well known fact that the Canadian Goose absorbs all the bad vibes, hate, and bitterness of Canada and carries it elsewhere in their soulless migratory bodies.
Have you ever been attacked by a goose? It is unnatural how such a small creature can be so ferocious. They can draw blood too.
That leaves me with the current situation. Recently, I was attacked by lawn goblins and left in a real bad fix.
Watchman Wayne could only do so much and we were grossly outnumbered.
Blood and gore all over his shield, Wayne winced at the wretchedness of it all.
In fear for my very life, a lawn goblin had me dead to rights in my own backyard!
I called for my Beloved and she rolled her eyes, my daughter documented it all, ambivalent to my predicament, and the Twelve Year Veteran of Life had his earbuds in, playing Terraria.
All hope was lost. My neighbors laughed at my calamity.
I had narrowly missed the initial swing and the Goblin’s axe came down at a startling speed a second time.
The axe fell out of the Goblin’s hand and the flat of the blade hit me square on a hallux. I let out a yelp and was on my feet.
With a loud honk, Trumpet had bitten the lawn goblin, giving me a chance to recover.
With my garden fork, I parried, I thrusted, I swung and I fought and together the three of us pushed the lawn goblins back into the compost pile where they came from.
I fear we have not heard the last of them and this will be a campaign to expel them fully.
Suddenly, one of my neighbors yelled, “are you live action role playing again Benjamin? ”
“I AM NOT”, I responded. “I am training for work.”
My neighbor laughed. “Ok Ben.”
Despite my embarrassment, I drug the vanquished lawn goblins off of the battlefield so the grass can grow.
There was last minute shopping to do fory upcoming camping trip l, so I was gone for a while. When I came back, the lawn goblins were gone!
To my dismay, someone in the house had cooked and seasoned them.
“We cannot eat these” I cried, “they are lawn goblins!”
“It’s chicken, dad,”
One can’t be too sure about such things but I will take their word.