This… Is a sushi bowl.
Well, the contents at least. While I could not taste much, I had a craving for fish. The fish is salmon.
Funny story. I know a guy that tells stories. He gave me the salmon I ate today, and that is a story of it’s own.
Here is the deal. This guy tells stories all day at work. Nonstop. Here is the kicker; he never tells a story that can be disputed. For instance, he will say that a skinwalker chased his car for three miles until it got tired.
It does not matter how you question him, he will speak with full conviction that it happened and always answer every minute detail.
Take this salmon for instance. One day, Jerry, (we will call him Jerry) asks if I would like to stop by his house and pick up some salmon and I agreed he started he got it at the supermarket for 1.99 a pound. I had a hard time believing that as it sells for 7.99 a pound at least.
Jerry stood me up twice and I told Jerry to eat a rotten otter.
Jerry was hurt. Things had come up and he was very sorry. He asked me to come over again and I did. I knocked on his door and he answered.
In a cooler was 50 pounds of salmon, the good stuff, frozen and prepackaged.
At 1.99 a pound. Safeway packaging. All fifty pounds looked like this or better and we just had the last one as it was forgotten in the freezer.
50 pounds at 1.99 is 100 dollars of groceries. I am not sure how he got it marked down, but it was free for me.
This isn’t the only fish story he has told me. Prior to this one, he asked me if I could use a trout he had caught in one of the local ponds. It was too big for him and his family didn’t wish to eat it. In front of everyone, I asked how big it was and he placed his hands shoulder width apart. We all had a good laugh that he caught a fish that big in a tiny pond and I agreed to pick it up. When I arrived, in Jerry like fashion, he was not there.
I went to work the next day and called him on it. Fish story.
Jerry was hurt, but undeterred. He told me to swing by after work.
When I arrived, there was a monster of a trout wrapped in plastic wrap. It must have been 3 feet long. The tail and head had already been removed. I said, “Jerry, where did you catch this?” He shrugged and told me “on post.” (Fort Carson)
This fish was so big it took 4 of us 3 days to eat.
I knew I had Jerry on this one. See,
Unbeknownst to Jerry, I know the guy that stocks those ponds.
When I asked my buddy about such a giant fish in one of those tiny ponds, he informed me that I had eaten a breeder trout. They were supposed to be thrown back if caught. Jerry was right.
Then… There was the bear story. We were sitting around, waiting for shift change when Jerry was reminded of the time he ran into a bear. Jerry said there was a bear laying at the prison gate just hanging out and no one was able to go to work.
Jerry now, he told us a whopper. He said he stood there, talking to the bear and it wouldn’t budge. Frustrated, he flicked his cigarette at the bear and chased it off.
We has a good laugh about that one. That was about 7 or 8 years ago. Well, I went on my way, and forgot all about the story.
Fast forward a few years and I went to a mandatory training at another prison.
Jerry came up. He had worked a few places and he was legendary. The bear story came up and we all retold Jerry’s stories. That is until someone spoke up. He agreed that Jerry had some crazy stories, but he was there when he flicked a cigarette at a bear.
Jerry walks around with impunity, telling all kinds of tales. He usually starts them by saying, “funny story,” then following up with a whopper.
He told us about this one time he was deployed to Panama in late 1989 or 90 and he shot a fat man with a pistol. The bullet bounced off the man’s belly and the man yelled, “que demonios” or “what the hell?”
I wasn’t there to tell you if it happened or not, but…
Everyone I work with says Jerry was not in the military. He cannot answer even simple questions about the U.S. Army such as unit, MOS, etc.
I left that one alone. That is until he invited me over for a BBQ. He showed me his DD214 and shared a lot of pictures with me. He did not tell me any stories this time and it seemed to bring back painful memories for him. I felt we shared a close, quiet moment, and I was honored to have seen this part of his life.
His wife told me he never pulls out those photos and war was hard on him. She said he was a military contractor for a while after his military service and some things bother him a lot. He tells stories to blow off steam.
Here is the crazy part.
So far, there is no story Jerry tells that can be disproven. Not one. Perhaps a skin walker did chase his car.