Satire (Based on real events)
Hello Comrades, 你好同志 共产
I am here today to vent a little frustration at the current covid/ corona situation.
Last night I went to the Walmart at 9 PM to find that Walmart had closed half an hour prior. On Saturday? Before Mother’s Day? In Merica?
I sat in my car for a few moments to plan how Mother’s Day Breakfast would transpire when two politzi 秘密警察 approached me in their Fountain Police Department Vehicles.
Savvy to their detainment tactics, I put my car into drive and carefully followed the parking lot rules which are actually difficult to enforce in many cases by the 秘密警察 Police. It is easy to corner a stationary vehicle and give a ridiculous reason for contact.
I continued along the parking lot route knowing that probable cause would deteriorate quickly.
Private citizen, private lot, you know, Merica.
Finding no reason to stop said proletariat 无产阶级 the two police officers 秘密警察 found easier prey and stopped following me. You betcha I was ready to record!
I was shocked that my stop in a parking lot could lead to potential questioning by the authorities in the United States of America 美国.
All of my actions were reasonable and appropriate.
For an American.
I told this to my sister, and found just the other day the Fountain Police Department 秘密警察 tried to bully her into saying that she was driving 50 MPH in a 30.
I will tell you something about US Police. You do not need to admit to speeding. If the instruments in the squad car clock you, you are out and will pay a fee to the local government. 受贿
They gave her such a hard time she cried. If you know anything about her she is tough as nails. She is my sister, how could she not be tough? They didn’t give her a ticket. You know why? They had nothing. 20 over is almost an arrestable offense.
I looked up the Fountain Police Department Reviews. This is what I found.
I have been asking around and discovered that at least in my area, the police are randomly stopping people and asking for papers. 身份证
I finally made it to the marketplace 市场 at the appropriate time with my papers. There were again two police cars in front of the Walmart. Rules were strictly enforced.
Options were limited on meats, but borscht and kimche was readily available.
We will see how this pseudo socialism continues.