Gather Round as I spin a tale!
Jersey Wardance, Captain
of the B.C.Halhïn Gol
Our diplomatic and economic mission completed, we are leaving Earth’s orbit and none too soon.
To maintain integrity and transparency to Bovine Planetary Federation Command, it will be reported that while a tractor beam notification was made, force was used in an unauthorized manner.
As a backstory and justification for the tractor beam utilization, our records of the general area demonstrated that Cheyenne, Sioux, Kiowa, and other locals in the past utilized the “Longhorn T Pose” or “reference pose” as a demonstration of reverence, thankfulness, and surrender.
Notably, however, it was also a way to connect with the Bovinae in archaic communication.
(For Non-Earth Dwellers, this pose is not to be confused with outstretched upward arms used in Christianity as a form of Christ worship.)
Commonly, we the Bovinae beamed up not a few individuals from the area described for centuries.
An example would be the Menominee peoples of the Crane Clan or Otaeciah.
With T posed arms signifying a pick-up, (sometimes called an abduction by non-consenting relatives) the Otaeciah enthusiastically were brought aboard and many times refused to leave the Bovine Federation ships.
As a result, they were offloaded in other human habitable areas such as Mashbitoes.
This resulted in the Crane or Heron Tribe establishing itself in La Longi, Mashbitoes, but that is another entry for another time.
What is important at this time is to justify that in this general location, the Bovinae recognize the described T Pose as the universal sign to be tractor-beamed aboard a ship. It has been this way for centuries.
On Earth date January 14, 2024, our sensors detected a Benjamin T. Human #1110101 of Colorado Springs Colorado utilizing what we thought to be a tractor-beam call to the Bovinae.
With outstretched horizontal arms, a communication device in one hand, and coffee in the other, Benjamin T. Human #1110101 utilized the “Longhorn T Pose” or “reference pose” signifying a pickup.
We initiated the tractor beam sequence, and an error code flashed stating “POINT OF ORIGIN ERROR #409 CONFLICT” and “The request cannot be completed due to a conflict with the current state of the resource.”
This resulted in the subject losing control of his central nervous system and falling mid beam.
Fortunately, the subject received medical care from the fall and was not aware of why he fell.
Unfortunately, our systems administrator was unable to determine the source of the error.