Brothers Campfire Released From Nextdoor Jail

Yo, what up big dawg, this is B. Real, like B.Thiel, and I be back at the Campfire.

So, I was released from Nextdoor Jail and I had to promise never to be naughty again by checking a box.

I could hoodwink you all and say I am as pure as the driven snow, but after a 5 minute session of infinite scrolling to catch up on the community, I could see all the little places I could have violated policy. If I continue to , this will lead to a life sentence from Nextdoor.

So, I will show you posts I found and the comments I want to write as an example of what not to say on Nextdoor.

Ha ha! Excellent question, but he is on his way to Nextdoor Penitentiary.

Suspicious circumstances indeed! That is nothing.

My time in Nextdoor jail taught me a lot about a side hustle. I got this message. You tell me if this is suspicious.

Obviously, I am not going to turn down a barter like this, even if the root is not identified and sage isn’t my favorite. I am a vegetable gangsta in my hood.

My Russian sage supplier did what she had to do to get me my fix. Snitches get stitches and there is no protective custody.

I scheduled anyway. Thug life. They can’t prove it was her.

Then, I saw this gem. We live in an area riddled with California culture.

What is this? A bigfoot sighting? This could be anyone.

This could be anyone as well. They were probably lost.

My dream reply is this YT link.

They see me rollin, they hatin…🀣

Sometimes, folks get an unequal share of problems like this poster below.

In this one, I am trying to determine where the invasion is. Is it the property… Or nearby ? We do know where the stinky ones originated. Now, we just need some green “ooze”.

We need heroes in our communities. Large, talking skunks may be a good fit.

Agricultural addiction is rampant in our community The bartering is out of hand. My heart goes out to this lady.

She is going on my prayer list. It may be too late for her. I hope not.

Numerous times on Nextdoor, I have been called creepy for looking at a profile history. I see why some do not like it. It is a tell as to who they really are. If I see this lady, I am going to hide my dog. She has priors.

Agghh! Just creepy!

Nope, just nope… Cruella has a long term obsession .

Well, if you are ever on Nextdoor, and do not want to go to Nextdoor Jail… Please do not follow my example or way of thinking .

Author: Benjamin

Benjamin Thiel is a community leader, urban farmer, and author of The Ongoing Tale at Brothers Campfire. He might know a guy...

22 thoughts on “Brothers Campfire Released From Nextdoor Jail

  1. Iseult Murphy says:

    You’re such a bad boy! I think Cruella inspired the earlier post about dogs being sold under suspicious circumstances.

    It seems that the world is a dangerous place. Cars on the roads, armies of skunks, people lurking in ditches. I’m glad this app is policing it.

  2. Under the mask.. says:

    What a fun post! I’m guessing local/community neighbor sites are more trouble than not. I escorted myself out of one that was created by a television station as a site for uploading reflective and/or amusing-in-some-way photos of local life. Some “loving granddaughter” reported *affected* (with details) how Grandpa escaped his domain in his old car, and ever so worriedly asked everyone to repost on all their social media. After about 10 “Reposted!”s, I called out the do-gooders who might need to get a REAL job instead of aiding and abetting an unofficial APB. (No one knew for sure if any of it was true! Who got hunted down that day?) Well, suffice it to say there were flames..

    1. Benjamin says:

      Ha ha ha ha! It is a dumpster fire, but proper leverage of the app has yielded a lot of nifty opportunities !

  3. anne leueen says:

    Look out! he’s got a dog! or look out he’s got sage! or look out he’s got a car! Now the car ……that can be seen as a weapon. I have never been to Nextdoor and now I can spare myself the effort. πŸ˜„

  4. leendadll says:

    I went on NextDoor ONCE, then quickly noped out. I don’t need such aclear window to my neighbors’ insanity!!

    For the sage person: Person taking clippings was on public property at the time – all legal!!

  5. The Sicilian Storyteller says:

    Best post ever!! This is exactly why I finally had to cut ties with Nextdoor and go cold turkey. Been clean and sober now for almost a year and I don’t even get any urges to check in. Living on the edge, Benjamin. Tread lightly.

  6. jilldomschot says:

    I lasted on Nextdoor for a few days. It made me utterly miserable to know my neighbors all had their noses to their windows, reporting on people walking up the street. I supposed busybodies have their place in crime prevention, but they just depress me.


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