Hello, Benjamin from Brothers Campfire here!
My children never cease to amaze. Yesterday, the Fourteen Year Veteran of life worked with his sister to get Dutch Bros coffee for teachers and a few friends.
It was well coordinated in that they determined their favorite drinks through observation. I have found myself alone for most of it due to school and preset routines of my family.
In other news, I am alone, but not depressed. In reality, I have met a lot of cool folks in my hiking and window shopping.
In my hiking, some of the old instincts are coming back. I felt like a wild animal when I smelled woodsmoke on clothing before I ran into a homeless man who was walking the game trail ahead of me.
The window shopping is more feeling the ambiance of an area.
I had no reason to go to the Crip side of Prospect lake the other day, or to explore downtown Colorado Springs seediest corners. I had a desire to feel, to use my senses and I did.
Is it dangerous to wander homeless camps and back alleys? I don’t know, probably.
Am I learning anything? No. Not really. I am thankful for a reset before I go back to working at the prison. That is where the danger is.
Sometimes your brother in blue will try and cut you when you aren’t paying attention .
Author: Benjamin
Benjamin Thiel is a husband, father, correctional professional and author of The Ongoing Tale at Brothers Campfire.
Nothing, to me, is more DANGEROUS, than wandering through a controlled environment where you think ya know ‘Da Rules’ regarding friends/foes/frenenemies only to discover – you actually are at less risk walking through places ‘everyone else’ says – “Not Safe!” –
Hang in there – Brother – Such a thin line between those of lone wolf disposition, a desire to serve and protect and those who seek power through control of others – and no matter the ‘vetting/background/failsafes’ put in place? There are always those who should not be allowed in serve/protect others venues on any front that make their way through – which always causes issues for the others who can be alone without being depressed, but who get back to their ‘roots’ and assess the landscape through which they are traveling –
I probably just said too much – but – you are not alone in your struggles, nor have ya been for a long time – to my mind –
On the other hand? Kudos to you for doing what you need to, to get back to your true spirit – to wade into systems you serve within that are rife with opportunities ugly/evil – simply because – the system itself, lends itself to such things –
Sigh – perhaps this would make more sense if I just said, On these topics? Two books that I still believe are important are –
Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement: A Guide for Officers and Their Families by Kevin M. Gilmartin (link https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/177690.Emotional_Survival_for_Law_Enforcement?
“The Lucifer Effect: Why Good People Turn Evil” by Philip Zimbardo (link:https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/359194.The_Lucifer_Effect?)
Thank you for your insight, and the reading recommendations!
I haven’t re-read recently!! but, sometimes, there are root things to be pointed to even while the ‘solutions/possible solutions’ to things might change/morph/wax/wane/improve over time – anyone in high stress job takes huge personal hits to their well being and has to find ways to survive/thrive – anyone entering high stress situations also encapsulated within a rigid system over which they may have little control? MORE so –
I know prison work is tough.
Any job that comes with authority/power over others, is tough – some more than others -Emergency services is tough – ICU/oncology ward duty is tough -providing hospice care/elderly care is tough – providing spiritual support is tough –
Have I talked ya out of ‘getting more of ‘this’ from me… personally…yet? I’m telling ya –
Be careful what you wish/ask for – LOL
You have not talked me out of ‘getting more of ‘this’ from me’
Okay then – guess I’ll plow forward until you say, “stop! for the love of all that is holy! Stop!” –
There are really BIG questions to be asked about where, on many fronts ‘we’ are at/where we are headed, etc., and tech/news feeds/systems built changed since the days of yore when things didn’t move so fast in innovation – when there was more ‘time taken’ for decisions/discussion and folks contemplated things before going ‘all in’ on the fast/easy solution –
Yup – I’m an ole fart – and yet – nothing you have asked, to me, is a ‘new question’ – it’s simply a repeat of age old struggles – as time, culture, society, norms change – we ask ourself again and again, as a species – ‘okay – I was TOLD it was like this, but that’s not how it’s playing out – now what????”
When you’re going through hell – just keep walking through – cuz if ya stop in the middle and forget to move forward? You’re lost forever – is my take on it –
What are your thoughts on capital punishment ?
Complicated….. 😀 (did you seriously expect any other answer from me???)
Incarceration and ‘lock away from society’ rules of law and systems to maintain and do so, are there for a reason – Life without parole is simply a way of saying, “Well, we just didn’t let an angry mob kill them on the spot whether they were really guilty of the crime or not – and we really care about forming a more overall just society where ya can’t just be put to death cuz your neighbors are mad at ya/covet your possessions, are really mad and looking for first person to kick the crap out of/beat to death in pure frustration’ – 😀
There are some folks, though I still believe them to be small in numbers – that are not within the scope of redemption here on Earth – but I do believe, through mistake of hardwiring as a brain was formed/early and often trauma, suffering at the hands of others, there is stuff in humans that just gets MESSED up! (Which is why I rather like the theories in alternative care and human nature put forth in Power vs. Force and the EFT program that was written by an electrical engineer by trade, who ‘flipped’ to ‘what is happening to humans???)
I don’t know your age/how much you look to history – but a few decades ago, a WWF (??) wrestler named Jesse Ventura pivoted from entertainment/athletics to public service – he ran on hard line of “I’m a supporter of the Death Penalty” –
So why mention him? For two reasons –
A. He kept up his campaign website AND instead of re-writing his ‘platform/issues’ page, and his stances – he simply ‘updated it’ – on where/when/why/how such things had changed – which impressed me, way back then – I can’t even imagine any politician having a website like that nowadays! LOL But I sure wish that was the norm – –
B. He CHANGED his mind on the Death Penalty/Capital Punishment – why? Well – cause at governor level? Papers to be signed cross his desk every durn day – some of those are Extradition Warrants – i.e. – Nationwide warrant was issued for crime that has no statute of limitations upon it – If another agency, in another state, picks up – they confirm/hold the suspect IF the issuing agency says, “Yes, still active warrant, if you detain we will come and pick them up to drive them back to our jurisdiction to face their charges” – and, according to him?
He signed so many of those extradition warrants, he just got used to doing so – but then – – once the person got back in state – faced a trial – new forensic tech (DNA, etc) and/or they simply weren’t the right person – or full case prep, legal representation for both sides, revealed ‘wrong place/wrong time’ whatever – they were proven innocent – often with some underpaid, overworked Public Defender that said, “um..no fancy stuff here – seriously, what’s up with this???”
And he realized – he signed those Extradition Warrants without another thought – they landed on his desk, after going through mulitple layers of the justice system of checks and balances – so why not?
Paraphrasing his words, “I can wait for trials to play out on extraditions I sign – but if I start signing Death Warrants same as I do Extraditions? Someone dies and we can’t dial that back – or make up for it, or repay”
Thus, complicated issue for me – even while, n my heart?
Um, yeah – some things? If I’m defending me/my loved ones, in our own space? I’ll fight to the death best as I can and if I win – won’t lose any sleep over it and if I lose? Well – durn! I LOST! Guess I’m dead (I also don’t feel bad about killing spiders, pests, etc., in my house – though once in awhile I’ll simply ‘move them from here to there’ then figure out why the heck they thought my space was friendly for them – LOL)
But that’s a personal front – I’ve been mad enough to want to kill – a couple times in my life – I’ve been hurt enough a couple times that if I had my say? Another person would just be struck dead to never walk the earth to be an arse-wipe again – but that personal and i struggle with that side of me –
That’s a whole different durn thing from making up laws, regulations, putting in checks/balances, etc., so when the time comes? NO one in doubt or has to wonder, “oops! Did we just kill someone who was innocent of all charges? That slipped through the cracks?”
Better to discuss what public services fronts we invest $ in and oversee collectively AS public services – law enforcement, prosecutors, public defenders – the private practice of attorneys for profit on many fronts – incarceration, rehabilitation, etc.,
To me – it’s less about capitol punishment and more about talking the long over all view of who we say we wish to be, and then building out/investing in the systems and infrastructure we all contribute to, to both feel safe, AND live with ourselves when we say our prayers at night or look at ourselves in the morning –
Way nifty! Thank you for your perspective !
P.S. That said – I’ve observed and/or heard inner stories about prisons – by the folks that live within them/work within them – seen budget sheets – seen reports on when such ‘services’ are privatized and contracts given to for profit companies – etc. I swear to all that is holy – everyone better hope the politicians overseeing all the way down to the guard on duty is a person of honor & integrity – other wise? It all goes to hell in a hand basket pretty quickly and it might as well be the worst atrocities of war zone that folks live/are stuck in and/or go to work in – every durn day of their life until they die – give up, or fight to the death –
Is there integrity in politics ?
There CAN be – just depends on the person who holds the office AND the voters who put them there/keep them there – ads/marketing and news feeds that try to get stuff shoved into 10 minute segment or less and then share clips /social media with attention grabbing headlines? um, not so much – is my take on it – but at the bottom level of ever level of public service, i still believe there are more people of integrity and honor serving behind the scenes, than ever there is the ones continually in front of the ‘cameras’ – but that’s just me – I read a lot of court documents, scientific studies etc, legislation to try to see what REALLY was said/reported – LOL