History of the Burrito

Posted on

Hello, Benjamin from Brother’s Campfire here!

North Korea gets such a bad rap. All the western sites are making fun of Kim Jong Un’s father, Kim Jong Il.

In 2011, Kim Jong Il, Former Supreme Leader of North Korea invented the burrito contrary to American propaganda.

https://torontosun.com/news/weird/north-korea-claims-kim-jong-il-invented-burritos

https://news.yahoo.com/kim-jong-il-inventor-burrito-234902421.html

https://nypost.com/2022/01/05/north-korea-claims-kim-jong-il-invented-the-burrito/

https://www.pennlive.com/life/2022/01/did-you-know-kim-jong-ii-invented-the-burrito-thats-what-north-korea-is-saying-anyway.html

You see, there is more to the story. Prior to his death on December 17th, 2021, Kim Jong Il knew only he could save the world from the sandwich.

This restaurant has the history of the tortilla partially correct, but misses some key details.

The Tortilla’s History: A Look Back Through Thousands of Years

It is only here at the Campfire that you will get the real story.

Source

Kim Jong Il was born in Vyatskoye, Russia in 1942 they say.

Contrary to belief, he had no mother or father, but appeared as a gift to mankind from space, not to be confused with the Heavens.

Regardless, the making of the burrito was his life’s work. You see, ever since childhood, his mouth was so small that he could not properly eat a sandwich. Drastic measures would have to be taken. One cannot reveal such a revelation without preparation of the fragile human mind.

Extraterrestrials have smaller mouths and cannot eat sandwiches

Kim studied a little for a solution. It was in math class that he showed the truth to us inferior humans. Astounding his tutors, he presented a new thing.

I=PRT Interest Equals Principle x Rate x Time.

Kim was interested in revealing a sandwich alternative and at any rate it was the principle of it all.

It was on Kim Jong Il’s 11th birthday that he showed the world the Mobius strip

Source

On his 12th birthday he graciously showed us additional dimensions with the tessaract.

Approved By The Supreme Peoples Assembly for the world. Thanks Kim Jong Un!

Our minds have not been prepared for the next step. Kim Jong Il invented a time machine.

Courtesy of the Great Leader, Kim Jong Un

There is one thing that Kim Jong Il lacked. He needed a power source.

Coal, windmills, solar, and even nuclear power were not enough.

There was one way. He contacted space. Those that gifted him to the world feared his power and no longer wanted to be of assistance. He would usurp their power.

In early 2011, Kim Jong Il negotiated. In exchange for tricycles, “they” would provide the power source.

Declassified January 6th 2022 for use by Brothers’s Campfire

Kim Jong Il wasted no time. He traveled back to the days of Moses himself to show him how to make unleavened bread. God was already on that.

GIF Courtesy of North Korea

Kim time-traveled to the Mayans, the Incans, and the Aztecs. There, and other places , he introduced the wheat wrap or tortilla. He taught some of them human sacrifice as well.

Your veiws on time travel are irrelevant. This changed the course of history. Kim Jong Il was able to eat properly in his childhood. Importantly, his progeny was able to as well.

In fact, I was impacted by Kim Jong Il’s time travel. In 1997, I worked at Taco Bell, a well known North Korean franchise and made burritos. I would not have had my first job without him.

Thank you Kim Jong Il for your contribution of the burrito to society.

Author: Benjamin

Benjamin Thiel is a community leader, urban farmer, and author of The Ongoing Tale at Brothers Campfire. He might know a guy...

37 thoughts on “History of the Burrito”

  4. kagould17 says:

    I always remember David Letterman when he referred to Kim Jung Il and his brother Menta Lee Il. I am sure they must be inventing something in the DPRK, more likely propaganda, rather than the burrito. Cheers Benjamin. Allan

  5. Hobbo says:

    How did you keep your tongue so firmly in a cheek full of burrito? Hilarious!

  8. Cassa Bassa says:

    Chinese created noodles, the Italian took a sample home and developed it into pasta. It’s more about inspired by. Just like we read good stories, good poetry and we write our own. It’s impossible to claim to be the inventor really.

    1. Benjamin says:

      Interesting take. I suppose there is nothing new under the sun.

    1. Benjamin says:

      The North Korean government is oppressive from what I have heard.

  12. Anonymous says:

    An enjoyable true and entirely accurate of burrito history. Thanks!
    P.S. Now I’ve got to go eat a burrito…

    1. Benjamin says:

      Ah, Kim Jong Un! So nice of you to drop by! You can log in next time instead of going incognito! 🔥🤠

  13. herbthiel says:

    See, this blog is so educational! Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. I had all kinds of crazy ideas about burritos before.

  14. Jeff says:

    I read it on the Internet, so it must be true.

    1. Benjamin says:

      Nuggets of wisdom from here at the Campfire. Would you like a s’more after your burrito? 🤠🔥🌯🌮

Comments are closed.