It was a gun deal gone wrong.
The four bore rifle was gold inlaid, hand-tooled, and accurate, shooting a quarter-pound projectile.
Capable of dropping an elephant, it packed a lot of punch.
He had hidden the rifle and taken Ronald’s money. Ronald was influential, and already there was a bounty.
Now he was on the run.
He stopped for a drink. Then he saw her. He downed another, for courage.
She was beautiful, yet there was something sinister about her.
Tantalized, his jaw went slack. It was time to stop staring and start acting.
“You are the embodiment of dark enlightenment.” He said.
“Oh?” She faked modesty, covering her mouth with her hand. “I have never heard that before.”
Her lips tightened, eyes full of mischief.
“Will you come to my parlor?”
Inside his heart was racing. It was time to be cool, suave, and smooth.
All that came out was, “Said the spider to the fly.”
Her eyes narrowed like a predator. Any sober man could have seen the game a mile away.
“The sheets are silk. Shall I weave a web?”
Biting his lip and throat choking for words, he responded dumbly, ” ok. “
He had a bounty on his head. Perhaps he would enjoy himself a little before skipping town.
She led him down a hallway and removed an overcoat to reveal a red dress that clung a little too tightly in all the wrong places.
Fumbling and a bit embarrassed he tried small talk.
“What’s your name?”
Does it matter? It’s all the same. You can call me Mae, Mae Yoe.
His wit returned and the drink released a safeguard or two. “Yoe, as in the old English for spring or stream.”
Mae fixed her hair ever so flirtatiously.
“Cultured and inquisitive. I like that in a man.”
She grabbed his hand, pulling him close while simultaneously opening a door.
“Come, I wish to show you my room.”
The inside was well furnished, and the decor, exquisite. A man with a white shirt and black pants offered him exotic cheeses on a platter.
The distinctive part of the room was the lattice work. It was beyond his imagination. Having taken a drafting class, he could appreciate the complexity.
His thoughts diverted. Where was Mae?
He heard a male voice.
It was Ronald!
“I have trapped you, villain, and I will ask you one time, and one time only….. the whereabouts of a four bore rifle inlaid with gold.”
Ronald paused, scratching non existing whiskers.
“You know, the hand-tooled, and accurate one, capable of shooting a quarter-pound projectile.”
The gun dealer weighed his options.
He had the money already, and Ronald was accompanied by a well-armed escort. There was one good option and he took it.
Ronald got his quarter pounder, with lattice, Mae Yoe, and cheese.
The gun dealer sighed….He knew he should have held off on the tomato. She was too good to be true. Now he was in a pickle.
Author: Benjamin
Benjamin Thiel is a community leader, urban farmer, and author of The Ongoing Tale at Brothers Campfire. He might know a guy...
Ouch! Uh-huh! The wiles of a beautiful woman and possibility of sex doth ensnare!
But didst thou catch the punishment of punchline?
I didst. He hath screweth himself instead of the other guy. 😂🤣
🤣
That was masterfully done! I may have to retire from punning.
Wow that’s intense, great writing !
(I hope your wife is getting better, I’ve been thinking about you both. Sending love and support from Normandy.)
Thank you friend. She has a long road to recovery. I appreciate it.
Oh, ok. I think I can catch up with what you did there.
You and my dad it would seem. 😆
I’m in good company. 🙂
Indeed.
I was beginning to wonder if you had been hacked… lol
Haha. Perhaps I was. Would you like a hamburger?
lol…hold the lattice, extra pickles please!
Ha ha ha!
The last paragraph is all about puns or just the last sentence. Enjoy the ending.
Ha ha the last few sentences are a play on words for a hamburger.
Yes, I guessed it, although I can never be sure of myself whenever a word game is involved.
Yeah, this kind of humor is a hard sell for global English speakers.
I like the image, terrific use of light and creative too.
rainbowtownmall – https://www.rainbowtownmall.com
Very well done Benjamin! I’m never very good in the punny department but you did that masterfully! Now that I can comment again just want to say I’m praying for all of you and hope you wife has a full and speedy recovery, but I know these things can take time. God bless!
Thank you Steve. I appreciate you!
Thanks Benjamin.
This must be the pun-ishment for liking the story. 😉
Ha ha!
That’s intense. Huhuhuh….nice one. Enjoy the ending
I am glad you got the joke!
Beautiful!
Ha ha! Thanks!
Hahaha 😊
Made me smile, excellent.
Thanks!